It took me getting bedridden with illness to realize that I was really messing up my life.
My illness forced me to be still.
To notice things that I’d been glazing over before.
I realized that I felt anxious ALL of the time – part of the reason that I never wanted to take down time is because I did not know how to deal with the nervousness in my gut.
I noticed that my husband and I were like two ships passing in the night.
We were high school sweethearts and were close, however, all of the commitments of work and being parents left little to no time for us.
A valley was growing and I did not know how to close that gap
I slowed down enough to see that my kids resented each other.
They struggled with fears of failure and not being enough.
And there was no amount of pep talks from me that made it better.
It’s all I could give them at the time because I knew no other way.
The more I told them of their potential, the more they emotionally sunk.
They went after accomplishment after accomplishment never really letting the victories sink in.
All I saw was them just setting the bar higher and higher.
We all did. When it came to achievement – we were rock stars.
When it came to our emotions – well – there was really no skill set to speak of. I did what I was raised with.
As I sat there and noticed all of this, I realized that I’d been running from the truth that even though I was trying to provide a different kind of childhood for my kids than I had - they were emotionally getting THE EXACT SAME childhood that I had.
One where emotions were dismissed, squashed and shoved down allowing only the good ones to surface.
And since there was this armor that all of us had against the “bad emotions”, nothing good really stuck.
Praise was reserved for the accomplishments, Shame was reserved for the fuck ups and anything else was shoved away.
*face palm*
I was exhausted for them.
I WAS THEM.
And it was in this realization that I forged a new path.
See, I struggled with all of the same things – of course they would too.
I parented from my what I was raised with.
And if I learned how to re-navigate and transform all of it from within, I could totally redesign my life.
I could transform my household and the people in it.
Just by approaching myself and them differently.
To stop shoving down emotions and instead learning from them.
To develop the resilience that comes from being honest about the fears that we hold within and beginning to step forward anyway.
As I uncovered and cultivated these skills, I was able to share it with my family.
They stopped resenting each other as they became more emotionally nourished and supported from within.
Failure didn’t seem so scary anymore since it had an open space to be heard and healed.
Those feelings of not being enough began to be replaced with confidence and greater love for themselves.
The armor that once repelled and shoved away the bad emotions fell away leaving wisdom, discernment and celebration for the journey itself.
And we all discovered how to say no without the loads of guilt and how we give the best of ourself when we are nourished from within.
My marriage became a partnership again.
My health improved 100% as a result. And that anxiety that I had spent my life shoving away reduced greatly.
Me getting bedridden was the biggest gift that I ever got because it gave me time to slow down, to clearly see what needed to change in my own home and to know 100% that my internal healing is the pathway to that transformation.
My relationships began feeling whole again.
I did too.
And then my mission was birthed.
I wanted to show women a different way to achieve the relationship success that they are looking for through working on themselves and allowing that inner work to transform HOW they approach their relationships, their life and their business.
So, I did.
- Marriages began feeling connected again.
- Their teens started talking to them - for fun - without being prompted or guilted into spending time together.
- These women began protecting their energy without feeling badly about it. #boundaries
- They really began showing up powerfully in their business instead of trying to balance it with their family.
- Their anxiety and other health issues began to lessen significantly.
- They felt calm for the first time in their lives.
- And their families began to step into the same energy.
Whenever my clients say “He/They is just showing up differently than he ever has before and I love it!”, I remind her that this is the energy field that SHE created through her inner work.
My clients create ripples from their inner healing.
And so can you.
